"NIGERIA never ceases to amaze me. Everything is possible here. Certain things are just astounding."

"What's up? Don't ruin my Xmas. I am already in a holiday mood, you see. Finding something nice to say, not one of those your gloomy tales."

"Take the Ibori case. It is over. The court says the man has no case to answer. One hundred and seventy charges....He has been discharged and acquitted!"

"You have something against the man? The court says the evidence does not support the allegations. A court of law will not convict a man on the basis of public opinion. "

"You know that I know and you also know that this is actually a country where anything is possible."

"Whatever happens we have to respect the court of law. The court of law will not convict a man simply because some people don't like his face."

"If you ask me, I am beginning to doubt these our courts. And even you too. I used to praise the judiciary but it looks like their lordships are also beginning to adjust to the times. In fact, it looks like the PDP has taken over the judiciary."

"Be careful. You could get summoned for contempt. I can't comment on a ruling whose details I have not read. To comment on a court ruling, you must study the details. The Judges may have taken a stand purely on technical grounds."

"Technicalities have always stood in the way of justice. Technicalities. Lawyers always hide under technicalities to be lawless. We expect the courts to do what is reasonable."

"Based on evidence. If there is no supporting evidence, the court will not rely on mere suspicion."

"The problem with you is that you like to talk from both sides of the mouth. One moment you blow hot. Next moment you blow cold. One day you'd say you are progressive, the next day you sound like them. And when it comes to the courts, you say you want to be careful. Look, me I don't care. Okay. Look at what happened in Ibadan in the Omisore case. That is a perfect case of a court of law going back and forth and standing on nothing. I don't know what lawyers would call what the Ibadan Court has done, but I say it is suspicious. You give a ruling nullifying an election, a new date is fixed for the election, it is postponed because there is a court injunction over a voters' register dispute and then you turn around, and claim that you made a mistake in your initial ruling, and just like that the rescheduled election is cancelled and Omisore is reinstated as Senator."

"Candidly, you must check that. I don't believe what you are saying, because there is no basis for it. But again, if it is true, I will have to read the full text of the judgement. What I know is that the Omisore case came up in Lagos, not Ibadan, and it has been postponed till Tuesday with the court saying the parties have the right to see the INEC register."

"You want to read this. You want to read that. Look, don't try that lawyer's monkey business with me. This is about common sense. And as a man with common sense, I believe that a court of law should not approbate and reprobate. It is this kind of thing that forces people to resort to self-help. Okay, what if the election had been held on December 5 as originally scheduled, would the Court of Appeal talk about having acted per something."

"Per incuriam. There is a lot of misinformation going on at this time. You should double-check that story. There are too many mischief makers trying to discredit the judiciary?"

"I read the story on the internet. It is all over the internet"

"Ha. That doesn't mean that it is true. You must be careful what you read on the internet."

"Still, the court must not give the impression that it is willing to do the bidding of powerful people."

"It is equally the duty of the court to be fair to all parties concerned."

"So, will you say the Supreme Court has been fair in the Soludo case?"

"All of these cases in one week? This must really be the week of the courts."

"I asked you a question"

"Well, I have not read the details."

"You don't have to read the details. I will tell you. The Supreme Court says the decision of the PDP is supreme in choosing its Gubernatorial candidate for the Anambra election, and that the Court of Appeal erred in barring Soludo from parading himself as the party's candidate."

"The Court was applying a general principle."

"I can cite over 20 cases in which the Supreme Court did not apply the general principle."

"What's your problem? You sound partisan. Do you have a problem with Soludo? Let the man go to the people of Anambra and let the people decide. You see, the problem with this our democracy is that it has turned every Nigerian into a lawyer. Once a political case is in court, even road-side mechanics prepare their own judgements and insist that the court must toe that line. It is like football, with all kinds of ignorant spectators telling the coach what he must do."

"You are talking nonsense. I am a concerned citizen. I have a right to comment on every subject under the sun, including telling the Minister of Justice, Aondoakaa that he is wrong and that President Yar'Adua can not rule Nigeria from wherever he chooses."

"Okay, you don't like what the courts have done in the last 24 hours. But how about the speed with which the Soludo case was handled?"

"I hope we will see that kind of speed in the handling of other cases. That is what we want. And I also ask myself: are the rulings of the judiciary this week, signs of what to expect during Justice Alloysius Katsina-Alu's tenure as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court? "

"You can't say."

"I can say."

"In any case, the new CJ has just about two years. But he has made it clear that he expects the judiciary to be independent particularly in the states. "

"A lot can happen during that period."

"You like to worry yourself."

"You forget I was born in Warri."

"You like to carry the world on your shoulders. You should have been named Atlas."

"No Sisyphus."

"I don't see a load on your back."

"You don't ever see anything, do you"?"

"But wait a moment, you say you don't trust the Nigerian judiciary. But is it not the same judiciary that has denied Bode George bail. The man is going to spend Xmas in prison."

"Looks like he will complete his sentence while the court keeps going back and forth on his bail application."

"You should praise the judiciary for that, then."

"No. I'd rather praise the original judge in the case."

"You are partisan. You are like the media."

"But do you know what the general opinion is? "

"You tell me."

"The Washington Post, The Financial Times, the BBC, the AP in their review of the Nigerian situation are insisting that the Nigerian government is not willing to do anything about big corruption in the country. "

"Perception"

"Reality. Even Mrs Hillary Clinton says Nigeria like Cuba is able but it is 'unwilling to make the changes that the citizens deserve."

"It is always very easy to quote foreigners."

"Who do you want me to quote? NTA?"

'Try and show some patriotism."

"Like Amodu Shuaibu hen? The Super Eagles coach who has invited injured players for the Nations Cup."

"But the man has provided an explanation. He says he is not going to the Nations cup to win the trophy. He says getting a semi-final ticket will mean a good performance from the team."

"A loser's vision. He in fact says he has no target. He is going to the Nations 'Cup in Angola to monkey around with the Nigerian national team."

"With only three home-based players and tired legs from abroad."

"And he boasts that he is the best coach Nigerian can boast of. Really, I think we are an injured nation".

"The Secretary-General of the Nigeria Football Federation, Bolaji Ojo-Oba says all those criticizing Amodu and the Super Eagles should just shut up."

"Nobody can shut me up. I repeat, nobody can shut me up. This mouth is meant for talking."

"Just be careful. The Guinean junta leader Dadis Camara was busy talking when one of his aides pulled a gun on him and shot him in the head."

"He doesn't have my sympathy."

"The Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi also likes to talk, but one mad man from the crowd hit his mouth with an object, leaving him with broken teeth, cut lips, and a broken nose."

"Could the man have been sent by some of the Prime Minister's aggrieved mistresses?"

"No, the attacker is a confirmed mad man"

"Where were his security aides?"

"You'd have to ask the Italian Embassy"

"The other day someone threw a shoe at George Bush. Now, someone has broken Berlusconi's face. You know what I am thinking?"

"What?"

"I wish someone would just do the same thing to some of these our Nigerian leaders. This is a democracy after all."

"If anybody tries that here, he will be gunned down on the spot. Can you imagine you throwing a shoe at President Yar'Adua?"

"I only talk, I am not suicidal. And what kind of stupid example is that. Throw a shoe at President Yar'Adua? Allah forbid."

"See, you are afraid already."

"Me. Afraid? Who talk so?"

"What are your plans for the holidays?"

"No plans."

"Meaning."

"I'll just stay at home. I'll use the period to pray."

"You have joined them? I see."

"I had a different plan. But now, I think it has failed, I wanted to travel abroad. But I understand British Airways workers are on strike. And I always travel BA."

"The strike is abroad, not here."

"What's the difference? "

"Really, I don't care. Let BA staff go on strike. Do you know British Airways charges 8, 000 pounds for its First Class tickets on the Nigerian route? Would they do that anywhere else?"

"My problem is about the economy class, I don't know about First Class."

"Well, it is something the Nigerian authorities should take up. This is about citizen diplomacy.`'

"You surprise me."
 

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